Page 170 [170]
OCR
JUDIT NAGY Figure 1 provides further examples of interdependent conflict management regarding Mary/Yu-Rhee’s male-female relationships but due to space limitations, these will not be discussed here. 1.) anticipatory management/ prevention — exiting relationships 2.) non-communication (ignorance/ silence) as a means of expressing anger or frustration > Mary/Yu-Rhee not wanting to meet Joon-Ho again after the arranged marriage attempt 3.) putting on a good face in front of others (situational code-switching) — trying to help Joon-Ho at the meeting from which he runs away, not telling the landlady about the exact nature of their relationship when the problems occur 4.) Mary/Yu-Rhee is angry when she learns that Joon-Ho is using a go-between to help settle the conflict (triadic management); telling her brother, a good friend of Joon-Ho’s, about the problem with Joon-Ho 5.) self-aggression and intro-punitive behavior are not observable Figure 1: Examples of interdependent conflict management: Ann Y. K. Choi’s Kay’s Lucky Coin Variety Deceptive communication As some of the previously discussed examples also show, when Mary/Yu-Rhee makes use of deceptive communication, it always has the purpose of saving others’ face and of protecting others’ feelings (e.g. not telling Mr. Allen/ Will that his writing style is bad, keeping quiet about Joon-Ho’s problems at university before the attempted rape and then revealing it partly to rebuke the self-conceited aunt who mistreats her mother, partly to prevent Joon-Ho from committing suicide). In addition to these examples, when a local youngster named Leon attempts to rape Mary/Yu-Rhee, she conspires with her family to keep quiet about the incident and consequently avoids questions regarding her injury, or responds with the story of her falling off the stairs. Therefore, in this respect, Mary/ Yu-Rhee converges fully to the interdependent self-construal. Silence The other aspect in which interdependent self-construal dominates is Mary/ Yu-Rhee’s concept of silence. When, for example, she and Mr. Allen/Will fight on his birthday and she communicates her criticism towards him, “Will froze, and then, in his usual way of attempting to defuse any uncomfortable moment, * 168 +
