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GENDER HISTORY RETROSPECTIVE IN HUNGARY AFTER 1949
also been stated that a number of similar experiences presented themselves
with regards to the subordinated social role of women in the narratives of both
generations.??5
Finally, as we have seen above, the socialist family model of "two earners
— one family income" was rather "one male earner — one female earner moon¬
lighting as an unpaid housekeeper — one family income” in reality.** It is true
that the Family Act of 1952 made divorces easier, due to women as well as men
being allowed to initiate the process. This however only put more strain onto
single mothers.
My husband did not support me that much. I left him after 12 years of marriage,
raised two children alone, both were going to primary school back then. But the fact
has not meant any leeway in my professional field. So it was very tough. I have a son
and a daughter. My daughter used to say “if someone asks who the man in the family
is, I usually say it is mostly my mom”. (Subject no. 27, social sciences)
To summarise, we can state that the most significant failing that women’s
policies of the state socialist era had was to draw women into the labour mar¬
ket en masse, while not reconstructing the male-female relation with regards
to domestic roles.**’ It is likely that, compared to lower social classes, tradi¬
tional male-female roles were — and are — present to a lesser extent in the case
of white-collar families and an intellectual/scientist husband (homogamy).
Moreover, studies related to the topic — e.g. as highlighted by Brines, 1994 —
have showed that men take care of even less housekeeping in the families of
physical workers, or where the man is financially dependent on his spouse,
because in these cases the man intends to stress his “manliness” and the male
social role by strongly resisting the household duties.***In any case, it is ap¬
parent that women could mostly achieve success in their scientific career if
they received support from their families, division of household tasks, and
equality in some form.
We had a surrogate grandmother, so we didn’t need to carry the children everywhere.
So let me say again that I had no problems originating from this, at least not to my
knowledge. And I think I can consider myself incredibly lucky from this point of view,
because my husband [...] was a father of whom there are very few. I need to add that
I never got up for our babies, it was always him who jumped out of bed and picked
335
Cf. Neményi-Kende: Anyäk és länyok, 138.
Zimmermann: A tarsadalmi-nemi (gender-) rezsim, 69, 71, 78.
Acsädy: Megtettük-e azt..., 194.
Brines quoted by Neményi, M. — Takacs, J.: Csaladfenntart6 anyak munka-maganelet har¬
monizációs kísérletei Magyarországon, in Nagy, B. — Géring, Zs. — Király, G. (eds.): Dilemmak
és stratégiák a család és munka összehangolásában, Budapest, LHarmattan, 2018, 358.
336
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