Seite 170 [170]
JUDIT NAGY
Figure 1 provides further examples of interdependent conflict management
regarding Mary/Yu-Rhee’s male-female relationships but due to space limi¬
tations, these will not be discussed here.
1.) anticipatory management/ prevention — exiting relationships
2.) non-communication (ignorance/ silence) as a means of expressing anger
or frustration > Mary/Yu-Rhee not wanting to meet Joon-Ho again after the
arranged marriage attempt
3.) putting on a good face in front of others (situational code-switching) — trying
to help Joon-Ho at the meeting from which he runs away, not telling the landlady
about the exact nature of their relationship when the problems occur
4.) Mary/Yu-Rhee is angry when she learns that Joon-Ho is using a go-between to
help settle the conflict (triadic management); telling her brother, a good friend of
Joon-Ho’s, about the problem with Joon-Ho
5.) self-aggression and intro-punitive behavior are not observable
Figure 1: Examples of interdependent conflict management:
Ann Y. K. Choi’s Kay’s Lucky Coin Variety
Deceptive communication
As some of the previously discussed examples also show, when Mary/Yu-Rhee
makes use of deceptive communication, it always has the purpose of saving
others’ face and of protecting others’ feelings (e.g. not telling Mr. Allen/
Will that his writing style is bad, keeping quiet about Joon-Ho’s problems at
university before the attempted rape and then revealing it partly to rebuke the
self-conceited aunt who mistreats her mother, partly to prevent Joon-Ho from
committing suicide).
In addition to these examples, when a local youngster named Leon attempts
to rape Mary/Yu-Rhee, she conspires with her family to keep quiet about the
incident and consequently avoids questions regarding her injury, or responds
with the story of her falling off the stairs. Therefore, in this respect, Mary/
Yu-Rhee converges fully to the interdependent self-construal.
Silence
The other aspect in which interdependent self-construal dominates is Mary/
Yu-Rhee’s concept of silence. When, for example, she and Mr. Allen/Will fight
on his birthday and she communicates her criticism towards him, “Will froze,
and then, in his usual way of attempting to defuse any uncomfortable moment,
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